“He violated the gag order throughout a listening to about whether or not he violated the gag order!” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Judge Merchan informed Trump’s lead lawyer — a man named Todd Blanche — that his arguments didn’t make sense, that he ‘offered nothing’ and that he was dropping ‘all credibility with the court docket.’ To his credit score, Blanche fired again. He stated, ‘Your honor, I misplaced all credibility once I agreed to characterize Donald Trump! That just isn’t a difficulty.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Fortunately, Trump didn’t hear any of it. He was dozing. Let One Rip Van Winkle is dozing off so typically, they’re going to wish a kind of N.B.A. sweat-wiper children to mop the drool puddles off his desk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“On his means out of the courthouse, Groper Cleveland stopped to inform reporters how uncomfortably chilly it’s within the room and the way very sad he’s to be there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Eight hours a day, 4 days per week — it’s actually torture. Or, as the remainder of the world calls it, a job.” — JORDAN KLEPPER
“I really like listening to him complain about how chilly it’s. Someone ought to knit him just a little pair of mittens to put on into court docket.” — JIMMY KIMMEL